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Confessions of a Curvy Cosplayer

Trigger warning: I use blunt language and unfiltered thoughts. Some of my phrasing may be offensive, but I feel like it needs to be said in the clearest way I can. I do not mean to offend anyone. You have been warned.

Here is some brutally honest thoughts about weight. I’m not any sort of expert on this. These are just my opinions. I have no training in nutrition. No training in exercise. These are just my observations.

I struggle with keeping weight off. I fluctuate a lot. I’m an emotional eater. Recently, I lost 50 lbs, and then gained 40 back. it is a never ending struggle.

Why do I work this hard to be this fat?

I have thought this a million times. I am going to be honest. I hate the gym. I hate running. I’m not a huge fan of hiking on a general basis.

Another blast of honesty. I love food. Mostly carbs and sugars. I love chocolate. I love ice cream. I love pizza and pasta and doughnuts and…I am going to stop writing because I just had dinner and this is making me hungry.

Any sort of food control is difficult for me. Even loading up on healthy proteins, I’m hungry all the time. I work from home so when I get bored, it triggers my hunger reflex.

Working out is hard. My cardio has always sucked. I hate the achey feeling you get after a good workout. I remember when I was working out 2-3 hours a day for several months and I finally realized that after ache never stops. It was the beginning of the end of my workout career.

It is so frustrating when you put in a ton of effort and look in the mirror and see slow moving results.

So what can you do?

Love yourself first

A lot of people say this, but I want to really break it down. Here are a few things this does mean.

Find the things you love yourself BECAUSE of them. Do you like your hair? Your eyes? Are you a nice person? Determined? Really good at something? Make a list of at least 5 things (can you hit 15? 50?).

Realize weight is just one aspect. Equal to only one of the things you like yourself for. Whether you are “too skinny” or “too curvy”, it’s just one thing.

You aren’t loving yourself “in spite” of weight. You just love yourself. Weight, whether a positive or negative, is just an aspect of the you that you love.

Calorie cutting tips

I have been able to lose weight by counting calories. It mostly helps with portions, but it helps you be aware of what you are eating.

Compare brands

When buying food at the supermarket, there are usually several brands of everything. You can cut calories out without changing anything you eat by choosing the brand with the least calories or fat. Some things, the difference is significant. For example, I add stewed tomatoes to my spaghetti. One can of tomatoes was 75 calories for a half cup serving, the other was 25 for the same size. That’s a HUGE difference!

Cred: Whitehouse Productions

Eat fat free

Be careful with this one. A lot of fat free items contain a lot of junk that isn’t good for your body. But fat free items are almost always half the calories or more.

Plan ahead

When you plan ahead and have lots of low calorie foods on hand, the less likely you are to be hungry and/or grab something with 3-4 times the calories.

Cred: Whitehouse Productions

The Balancing Act

It’s all about health. Like I said, I’m about the furthest thing you can get from a nutritionist or personal trainer. All of this stuff I’ve learned to be true for myself. I’ve learned you have to focus on a well rounded health balance. Sometimes you have time to workout, sometimes you have time to cook, sometimes you have other things in life that take priority.

Cred: Whitehouse Productions

The conclusion

Weight is hard. Whether you struggle gaining it or losing it, most people struggle with it. I don’t know one person that doesn’t. But the thing I do know, if you focus on yourself as a whole, weight becomes less of a focus and health comes to the forefront.

And that is what is most important anyway.

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1 Comment

  1. Ariana Bauer April 17, 2019

    You are so brave and i am happy you spoke put about how you feel about your weight. I think we need to have these open conversations to help us all. Great article!

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