Xena: Tell me how you feel? Right now, nothing about the past, right now.
Gabrielle: I hurt inside. Don’t you?
It was the end of a tough day. There was no particular reason, but I was emotionally spent and I could feel pain filling me up so much that it felt like it was leaking out my pores.
Not Physical pain. Pain emanating from my heart and filling every bit of me.
All I could hear in my head was Gabrielle screaming over and over “I hurt inside!” with echos of her quite whisper, “Don’t you?” following behind.
It took a while and Google for me to place the exact quote and show. If nothing else, this should tell you the state of mind I was in. I placed it, I saw the first part of the quote.
“Tell me how you feel? Right now, nothing about the past, right now.” Xena screams at Gabrielle. In the moment this was super important so they could avoid having things fall apart, but honestly I wanted someone to ask.
Why don’t we ask more often? How are you right now? Right this minute? Can you answer that?
I’d been through the cycle I experienced at that moment more times than I can count. I know that it just hurts until it stops hurting and then I’ll be ok.
But what about right now? Now I was hurting. And in that moment it didn’t matter that I knew the drill, it still freaking hurt. And that sucked.
Why can’t we let people Express their feelings without the need to shove their brains forward or backward in time?
“It will be ok.” “You are going to be better tomorrow.” These answers are great, but what else do they do right now except distract from the process.
True, we live in a world where “being ok” and “better tomorrow” aren’t givens. But pain and hurt are part of life (see another amazing quote from The Princess Bride). And really, most people are ok. The sun usually rises in the morning. And we need to function as though these are truths.
But do we have to say it? There is a beauty and solace in the moment. In being able to scream “I hurt inside!” And find others who can relate.
In the pain, in the honesty of the moment, that is where we can find something magical. Other people. Who also hurt. And we can then be together. Experience together.
This doesn’t mean every moment is one where we need to scream “I hurt inside.” Some days you might cry “I am so happy I could burst!” Or whisper “I am at peace.”
But it is all about Yin and Yang. We need to allow ourselves and each other the opportunity to feel happiness and pain, grief and joy. As humans we need both.
All thoughts are my opinions. I’m not a mental health professional. I’m not affiliated with nor do I own any of the characters mentioned.